You kneel down and turn the lock dial three times around, then once left, stop. Back to the right, stop. You are focused enough to feel the click of the lock; then you swiftly open the locker. You strip down to your boxers and feel the chill of anticipated heat in the bleak locker room. You step into your shorts, inhale the smell of victory as you throw on your running shirt, which has been aged like cheese in your locker, developing a sharp smell. Sit down. Put your left foot into the shoe and relax. Then the right. Tie them, and release the stress of the day.

You walk out to the treadmill. Slip a headphone in each ear, press play, and perform.

Running is the fine art of performance; graceful deterioration, victorious pain. For anyone who does not run, I am taking this moment while you are enraptured in this sense-tingling story, to recommend running as a form of mindful meditation and a hobby.

There are various reasons to run that health and fitness buffs will rant at you in effort to persuade, but those reasons are not why I am typing away. I believe you should start running because you want to accomplish something unfathomable to your current fitness.

Imagine waking up and going on a journey, or traveling for miles, and finishing feeling like you had accomplished something.

Imagine moving to the beat of your heart, instead of forcing your heart to beat to you. I swear every time I walk into the gym my heart beats a little bit faster. And I know that when I step on the treadmill my body will move no matter what I think it to do.

Imagine clearing your mind to nothing other than the movement of your body, and in a matrix type fashion focusing in on ten different actions within a second of time.

Lift.
Hold.
Push.
Lift.
Step.
Inhale.
Lift.
Hold.
Push.
Exhale.

Feel the sweat drip down the back of your neck.

When you increase the speed you can feel the muscles deprived of oxygen and you start to sweat more within a minute. The pain in your legs dissolves as the heart pumps more and you breathe deeper and more frequently.

I am suggesting running as a religion. Call me crazy, but if you spend time bonding with God by sitting still and praying, then I spend time bonding with my heart by pushing my body to it’s limits and focusing. I don’t see the difference. (I’m not the first one to suggest it either.)

Both make you feel better about life. Both extend your body and soul into a greater meaning. Both involve making sacrifices to appease a greater good.

Enough of this heavenly crap. God bless the people still reading this self motivation mumbo jumbo. And if God doesn’t bless you for it, I will reward you with my realistic running tips.

For those of you saying, “Ok, but that doesn’t help me run better,”-this section is for you.

Tips for improved running:

Start Slow: Running is high impact and can immediately inflame your Achilles tendons, quads and hamstrings. (MYTH: running is bad for your knees). You want to start your running religious expedition with light jogging for 25 minutes or aerobic running for only a mile. Anything to intense will just put you back on the sidelines.

Look at the clock: I used to think looking at the clock would keep my motivation low because you feel let down when you realize how short you’ve gone and how much longer you have to go. You should not feel like running is annoying and prolonged, which is why looking at the clock should not discourage you. Running should not feel tiresome after 5 minutes ; however it is acceptable to feel tiresome and wanting to quit after 30 or 40 minutes. This is called pushing yourself (no pain no gain).**

Invest in quality shoes: Look I know what it’s like to be on a tight budget, trust me I’m not the spawn of Rockefeller and Paris Hilton, but this is a smart investment. If you don’t want to spend 80+ dollars on running shoes, don’t run- you will do more harm than you are good. Hit the elliptical and get some cash together in the meantime. Once you buy the shoes don’t quit your job because running sneaks need to be replaced every 3 months.

Listen to music. Buy an mp3 player, organize a running playlist, (check out what’s on mine) and run to the beats you like. If you are running high intensity or short intervals, run in silence. Run outside in the morning or on a treadmill in a silent room. I h

Thank god those aren't my legs.

ave come to the conclusion that when I want to run long distances music increases my time by 10-12 minutes. When I am doing HIIT for 10 minutes with on and off sprinting I don’t listen to music. I listen to the sounds of my performance. I stay as focused as possible.

Run for the right reasons:

• Remember that sprinting short intervals burns more fat that has been on your body for years, because when you sprint for 60 seconds, 8 reps, your body digs deep into your stored energy to perform. Fortunetely your body comes up empty handed in this search, leaving your muscles short of the energy they need. After you feel dead tired for a few hours, your body enters a metabolic state for up to 3 days which burns fat constantly. (Keep in mind you will need to eat every 2 hours to keep this going.)***

• Running long distances at a medium or low speed will burn the calories that have entered the body with the last 48 hours. If you want to maintain your weight, this is the way to go. You will also increase muscle size in your calves and quads, looking more cut and having less jiggle.

If you have any questions about running, fitness, or health habits, feel free to e-mail me.

Written by a man who started running in June 2008.

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**but Tom, I DO feel tired after 5 minutes and I always want to quit. This can be a symptom of various problems:

Check your eating habits. It is suggested that a small fibrous carb breakfast be consumed in the morning before a run. Other great foods to eat to increase energy before running are leafy greens, sweet potatoes, squash, apples, oranges, and beets. Avoid fatty high calorie or high protein foods that don’t produce the same energy. These should be left for post workout foods.
Get motivated about running using a competitive activity like soccer, lacrosse, or football. These will make you want to perform while not thinking about long distances, slight cramps and beginners discomforts that can irritate a clear mind. Even running with a friend or more so running with your rival will help you perform better and keep you focused on the end goal. My first month running was assisted by playing soccer and when i was on the treadmill I thought about really hot women wanting my resulting body. Keep in mind these are only temporary solutions because only a temporary solution is needed. Once you run for an introductory period you will multiply your focus and feel compelled to perform every day. You may find yourself forcing to quit because your hour at the gym is ended rather than stopping because you’re tired.

***Running high intervals is dangerous. Make sure you are stretching properly before and after, and that you have sufficiently researched proper routines before starting this workout. You don’t want to pull a muscle while running 12 mph on a treadmill.